My Sacred Space - A Meditation

Tea Total (Thanks, Will!): 4
Weight: 8st 10lbs
Song of the day: Mowgli's Road - Marina and the Diamonds
Mood: Relaxed

I have recently discovered the joys of guided meditation tracks, not so much because I find meditation difficult, but purely for how wonderfull relaxing they are. Having downloaded some free ones from a podcast, I sat back and found myself almost falling asleep in my chair. I love the soothing voices and tones in the backgrounds, it's perfect for taking your mind off whatever is troubling you - for me, namely the 2lbs I've gained since I last updated, and going back to school tomorrow!

A lot of the tracks use guided imagery, whereby the crooning voice tells you to imagine certain things and guides you through some lovely imaginary world, which is usually a tranquil beach scene of some kind. One of the tracks, however, is called "Your Sacred Space" and it is this track that I am using in my blog today. Its description says that it will take me to my own inner sanctum or sacred grove, where I can renew my energy and creativity and gain new perspective. I am going to take you through my own mental image as I am guided by the track, starting... wait for it... Now!

I walk down a corridor with low lighting, and in front of me is the top of a beautiful spiral staircase, which leads downwards. It is softly lit at the top by candles, and the flickering lights show an ornately sculpted banister. As I go down deeper and deeper, the light begins to fade, and it seems that this staircase leads into the core of the earth itself. I walk down deeper, deeper, and there is another light up ahead. As I approach it, I can see a doorframe, which I step through.

I find myself in a beautiful room. Despite it being so deep down under the ground, there are floor to ceiling windows, and outside I can see a lush, green canyon, in a vast cave. The room itself has marble floors, and the walls are lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, all of which are stocked full of various books. They give the room a light, musty smell, an aroma of paper and parchment and ink.

There are plump chairs with purple velvet cushions, sitting by a large fireplace. The floors are covered in thick, soft rugs, and next to the chairs are tables. One table has a bowl of petals, another has a china tea set on it. Steam wafts from the spout of the teapot in a spiralling pattern. The only sound in the room is the crackle of the fire.

I look around, and on a table there is an elegant wooden box, intricately carved. Inside it is a canister of loose tea and spices. I sink my fingers into the tea, and I can smell cinnamon, cloves and ginger. It smells sweet. This is a gift that has been left for me in my place, and I feel as though it has been left to allow me to relax. I place it back down on the table, and next to it I leave my own gift for my sanctuary; an old fashioned fountain pen and a crystal vial of ink.
I linger for a moment more in a chair by the fire before I begin to climb back up. When I reach the top of the staircase, the light is bright.

Well, then. That took me a long time to write down - it's difficult to write it out whilst listening, because you can't put your whole imagination into it, so it is mostly from memory. I recommend trying this yourself; you can download it free from iTunes from The Meditation Podcast. It's nice, because everyone's personal space is a little different, and I like how much my imagery reflected mine.

Hopefully posting again soon!
xx

Moodswings

Cups of tea: 4
Weight: 8st 8lbs
Song of the day: Sigh No More - Mumford + Sons
Mood: Festive
It seems that every time I come back here, it is only to apologise for not having updated, and to promise to update more frequently. In all honesty, there has been little to blog about; my life has been bland recently.

Well, not exactly. I'm worried because I have no money. I haven't been having a brilliant time at school recently. I hate Physics, and though I intend to drop it next year, it is weighing my mood down now and has been the cause of a lot of depression. The current social climate is frosty, with occasional spells of bitching, which does nothing to help when you're feeling low.

But I've manage to put aside the depressing things by thinking about the positives - I have been with my boyfriend for over three months and I adore him, and I have managed at last to quit the job that has been depressing me for so long. It is nearly Christmas, and although exams are looming ahead like thunderclouds, I'm managing to keep a festive mood for that day of happiness, as well as my birthday.

I'm getting driving lessons for my 17th, and am looking forward to being able to drive more than anything at the moment! I have images of myself in a few years time, singing along to the radio of my purple Volkswagen Campervan... well, I can dream, at least.

So, a mixed couple of months, at best.
Emma x

Bouncing Back

Cups of Tea: 3
Weight: 8st 9lbs
Song of the Day: New Soul - Yael Naim
Mood: Stressed

I haven't been up to blogging in quite a while as of late; when we started back at sixth form, it was difficult to fit it in when I was trying to sort out a routine, and I am just recovering after spending a week away from civilisation with some dreadful respiratory disease. Haha, could it perhaps have been the dreaded Swine Flu? Either way, I am better now, and very eager to get back into the swing of things.

Sixth Form, which was a blur of new clothes and new stationary and new timetables and teachers and lessons has quickly been established as the norm. The common room, complete with the fabled sofas and available chocolate, seems such a familiar setting that I can't believe it's only been ours for a few weeks. The sheer amount of work that I have, however, still retains its edge. It doesn't look as though the five years I've already done at the school have been able to dull it, and I seriously doubt that I will ever be used to working!

I have decided, after much deliberation, that the medical profession is not for me. The idea of becoming a teacher has rushed to centre stage, and seems to be enjoying the spotlight. I am going to contact my old primary school and see if I would be able to volunteer in the classrooms one afternoon a week. It would be lovely to spend some time there; I can still remember it vividly. I hope that a few of my teachers are still there.

Well, that's all for now, folks. Until next time!

Emma x

Me Love Cookie!

Cups of tea: 5
Weight: 8st, 6lbs
Song of the day: Drops of Jupiter by Train
Mood: Happy

Today I made cookies with my sister, which I am now eating with milk. I only realised just now that I am also wearing a t shirt that has the Cookie Monster on it. How wonderful! I don't bake very often, and it was very enjoyable.

It's hard to believe that the holidays are so close to finishing. I am looking forward to going back to school, if only to show off some pretty clothes and to see my friends. It will be difficult to have to start thinking of exams so soon after having such a long time to forget everything I have learnt.

My exam results were wonderful, which was a pleasant surprise. As far as I can remember, I only revised for Science, Geography and, where possible, English. I hope that I do as well next time around, where I shall undoubtedly put in a little more effort.

Changes

Cups of Tea: 2, so far
Weight: 8st 8 lbs
Song of the day: We Didn't Start The Fire by Billy Joel
Mood: Contemplative

It's rather surprising how much things can change in the space of a few weeks. These holidays have been incredibly different to any of the ones I have had before, in the sense that I haven't gone away from home, and I have been working through them. I have been asked to stay on at the milkshake parlour after the holidays, which will be good as I will still be able to afford things when I'm in sixth form.

I think that having a job has taught me to really appreciate the time that I have to myself. I try to do things that I really enjoy on my days off, so that I don't feel as though they have been wasted.

I've had a change of face in recent weeks, as I have had my fixed braces put on. I don't mind them that much now, but when I first got them I was very upset with the way they made me look and my self esteem took a blow. I went to a friend's party feeling miserable and ugly. In the space of a few hours my perceptions had radically changed, both of myself and of other people. I don't feel quite so invisible any more.

These past few days have been very happy. I hope it continues.

Emma x

Cleaning Up and Hamsters

Cups of tea: 6

Weight: 8st 12lbs

Song of the day: Neopolitan Dreams by Lisa Mitchell

Mood: Restless

...And the relatives came unto the Bowles family, and with them there came a madness in the mind of the mother that caused a great tidying to fall upon the land...

As it is my Grandma and Grandad's Golden wedding anniversary soon, a lot of my relatives are going to be at my house this weekend. This is good in many respects; I shall see my Uncle and his girlfriend again, and we are going out for a lovely sounding meal. However, I have had to scour my room from top to bottom, as my grandparents will be sleeping in it. I have been evicted to sleep in our caravan on the drive. Awesome.

...And with the madness of the mother there did come restlessness and disease amongst the livestock, until the nights were filled with their frenzied cries...

I have had tragedy and annoyance from my hamsters this week, and more than enough to last for the rest of their lifespans. It all started when I discovered an odd tumour on the underside of Ratchet. He was acting very poorly as well, to the point where I was willing his death on him to put him out of his suffering; he looked so helpless and miserable.

Nonetheless, I couldn't spare him too much sympathy. He and Clank sometimes scrap a little, but it's mainly play-fighting. Feeling ill clearly made him vicious, as they were suddenly at war with each other, screeching and scrabbling around until... Blood everywhere. I'm not too sure of what my initial reaction was, but I remember prising them apart with a pencil, and I remember muttering to myself "Oh, sweet Jesus..." as I saw what had happened.

Ratchet had bitten Clank's tail clean off. Needless to say, I have separated them now. This morning I awoke to find a lot of blood on Ratchet's bedding and the tumour gone. Looks like both of my pets are going to live to fight another day. Or not, as the case may be.

Yours tiredly,

Emma

Different Seasons - Stephen King

Aha! I have finally managed to drag myself away from Procrastinationville in order to write about one of many fabulous books by the King. Perhaps this might be a little biased, as adore almost every aspect of King's work seemingly unconditionally, so it might not be so much a review as a recommendation. Either way, let's crack on.

Overview

'Different Seasons' is a collection of four short stories (one for each season); 'Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption', 'Apt Pupil', 'The Body' and 'The Breathing Method'.

The stories are vastly different, and are all hypnotically captivating. I had to take this book in to work in order to continue to read it during my breaks, despite the fact that they are only 15 minutes long, as I was so desperate to find out what would happen next.

I read the stories out of sequence; the first one that I read was the last one in the book. 'The Breathing Method' is the tale of an unmarried pregnant woman in a time when society shunned her for this very reason. The ending is a gruesome twist that is oddly empowering towards women.

'The Body' had many elements in it that I believe inspired the masterpiece that is 'It'. The similarities are clear, and both stories show the loss of childhood innocence in chilling ways. However, I feel that there is a certain amount of self-insertion in this story that is also present in 'It', and several other King stories, which is a little uncomfortable to read.

The other two stories are equally spellbinding, but I shall leave them out in the name of space-saving.

Pros

• Four times the captivating plot lines!
• As always, King manages to word so concisely intricate areas of human thinking.
• The characters remain believable no matter how wild their actions or situations are.

Cons

• At times the narration can be long-winded.
• The aforementioned self-insertion

All in all, this book is a must-read! I would recommend it to people that have attempted to read King before but have found the books difficult to sink into. These stories are short enough for the "interesting parts" to be relatively quick to get to.

Rating - 9/10